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The Ballad Of Ali Dia

from World Of Football 14 by Keshco

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From Brewer's Rogues, Villains and Eccentrics (with a few factual inaccuracies, but you get the gist of the story, and it's what was to hand when writing the lyrics):

Dia, Ali (1968- ), footballer and impostor. Dia was an enthusiastic, but unskilful, part-time footballer whom Barry Jackson, the manager of Blyth Spartan - a club in the lower leagues - was happy to release after a few games. Some months later Jackson was surprised to see Dia playing in a Premiership game televised on Match of the Day. Ali Dia's moment of glory came after Graeme Souness, the manager of Southampton Football Club, apparently received a telephone call from George Weah, the Liberian international and former Footballer of the Year. Souness would be well advised, said Weah, to take a look at Dia, whom he described as a Senegalese international of outstanding talent, now living in England. The phone call was followed by one apparently from the French international, David Ginola, who seconded this advice. Weah and Ginola were not people to disregard, so Souness engaged Dia without a trial and played him against Manchester United. He missed an open goal and was otherwise careful not to get too involved, so Souness substituted him after 20 minutes. At the end of the season Souness let him go. Dia then joined Gravesend, another club in the lower leagues, turning out twice in the reserves before being released again. It was then discovered that he was a mature student taking a course in business studies at Newcastle University, but he continued to deny that he had impersonated Weah and Ginola on the telephone to Graeme Souness.
'At least he played in the Premiership,' said his former manager at Blyth Spartan, 'which is more than I ever did.'

lyrics

If George Weah rang a Premier League club to recommend me
Would I not be happy?
And if David Ginola rang to second George Weah's words
Would I not be happy?
And if the legendary Graeme Souness asked me to the club
Would I refuse?
From Blyth Spartans reserves to the Premier League
Would I refuse?

Still they say -
Ali Dia is a liar, is a liar
Ali Dia is a liar, is a liar
Ali Dia is a liar, is a liar
Ali Dia, pants on fire

If a man called my office and said he was George Weah
Would I not believe him?
And if David Ginola called to confirm George Weah's words
Would I not trust him?
And if they told me they'd found a Liberian prodigy
Would I not sign him?
And if that prodigy turned up on a Friday morning
Should I not sign him?

Still they say -
Ali Dia is a liar, is a liar
Ali Dia is a liar, is a liar
Ali Dia - no liar, no liar
Ali Dia - no liar

But I ask you
But I ask you
If George Weah called for you
If David Ginola called for you
If Graeme Souness called for you
If Southampton Football Club called for you
If stardom called for you
If stardom called for you
Reader, what would you do?
What would you do?

credits

from World Of Football 14, released July 12, 2014

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Keshcology London, UK

Freewheeling leftie home of Bleak House, Nice Scream, Keshco, Vile Brain Samples, Andrew Walton, Simon Waldram etc. Library music, folk pop, synths, poetry; mostly Creative Commons licensed. Free or pay-what-you-can. Always excited to hear when our pieces are used in your productions, so do let us know.

Keshco: Friends who play psychedelia, synthpop, folk, cut-ups, jingles. Homemade since 1994!
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