1. |
Oh What A Ding-Dong
01:33
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Roll up, roll up, roll up! Anybody got a roll up? It is my dubious honour, as the executive officer of these here parts, to introduce the candidates for the vacant seat on the council of Kesh County. Ladies and women: in the beige corner, Peregrine Bullingdon-Scythe of the Nasty Party. In the puce corner, Jack Dockleaf of the Workers' Alliance. In the mauve corner, Jeremy Soundbite of the Centre-Left Letdown. In the tartan corner, Mrs Tenacious Buzzard of the Scot-Free Party. In the grass-green corner, Ms Aorta Smokeone of the Earth Alliance. Now the contest will be decided by two falls, two submissions or a knock-out. May the deepest pocket win, and ideally have to resign double-quick so we can do it all over again. I hereby declare the contest open. Cue six weeks of interminable waffle. I thank you! Now - let's have a ding-dong.
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2. |
Stock Share Shuffle
02:14
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How much tax do you pay in the pound?
Nothing, boy, nothing
What will you say when the people find out?
Shut it, boy shut it
It's a con! - you take the profits and you sneak them around
And it's wrong - Send them to the Caymans or the Swiss account
Doggone! - You write it off, seal it up, swindle it down
This is how it's done
How many friends do you have at the top?
Network, boy, network
How many boards can you sit on and scoff?
Notwork, boy, notwork
It's a con! - you mess up something that the public should own
And it's wrong! - You get a title and the pay-off's loads
Doggone! - You're just a cushy lickyspittle toad
This is how it's done
How are those shite-hawks staying in jobs?
Contacts, boy, contacts
Lovely golden handshake if they have to run off
Contracts, boy, contracts
You're hired! - you gotta sell to stay ahead of the game
You're fired! - can't feel no empathy, can't feel no shame
You're retired! - the perks and benefits that you retain
This is how it's done
Don't peek behind the curtain - don't knock upon the door
You don't want to see that view - sit still now, obey the law
Don't organise a sit-in - don't march don't fret don't carp
You don't want to see the strings - leave off boy, stop having a laugh
Leave off boy, stop having a laugh
Leave off boy, stop having a laugh
You're whaat??
Shit shuffle shoes
(shoe shining shite)
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3. |
Lend For Free
00:16
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Terrible choices perpetuate need
Act on conscience
Lend for free
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4. |
Circus Wagons
03:13
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Riding on the battlebus
Silly bleeders - awful leaders
Spin the wheel until it locks
Stay dead centre, cull dissenters
Back it up, back it up, back it up
Ease it off, ease it off, ease it off
Simmer down, simmer down, simmer down
Ride it out, ride it out, ride it out
Slide and spin and scuff it up
Queer quote squabble, John Blunt trouble
Scour the bin and rake the muck
Mic leak stumble, tired slog mumble
Sink the pinkos, down the pound
Beat a retreat, whitewash defeat
Overtake and overhaul
Change what's working, break and cave in
Speed it up, speed it up, speed it up
Slow it down, slow it down, slow it down
Shut it off, shut it off, shut it off
Ride it out, ride it out, ride it out
Scramble damage poor control
We'll do more with less than before
Manifesto sleeperhold
Costings slated, obfuscated
Sell out any principle
Didn't rule in, didn't rule out
Talk the talk then dodge the fall
Protest muffle - top deck shuffle
Talk but say nothing at all
Deflect every battleball
Anodyne the prattlebus
Campaign might be good as lost
Wheel her in and fill her up
And off we go
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5. |
The Count
03:05
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6. |
Kitchen Shuffle
03:41
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If you've no room to cook your food, try this groove - the kitchen shuffle.
Don't get in a pickle if your kitchen's only ickle - do the kitchen shuffle.
If you need to place a booking for some time to do your cooking - do the kitchen shuffle.
If the reach-round to your grill leaves you ill - do the kitchen shuffle.
The kitchen shuffle is hard to beat
Swivel your hips, shuffle your feet
Reach down to the fridge, up to the shelf
Have a care now, it's good for your health
If there's no room to swing a cat in your dingy terraced flat - do the kitchen shuffle.
When you're looking for a plate but can't get round your housemate - do the kitchen shuffle.
No purchase to be had on a wipe-clean mat - do the kitchen shuffle.
If your steamer's boiling dry or you're poked in the eye - do the kitchen shuffle.
Now take it.
Come on without, come on within
We can't do nothing in our tiny kitchen
If you're irate cos your kitchen's in a state - do the kitchen shuffle
If you're in a stew cos your fridge is in the loo - do the kitchen shuffle.
If you need Inspector Gadget's hands to reach your pots and pans - shuffle.
If the tool the chef demands is knocked from your hands - ooff! - kerfuffle.
The kitchen shuffle is hard to beat
Swivel your hips, shuffle your feet
Reach down to the fridge, up to the shelf
Have a care now, it's good for your health
Get on the funky lino if you can.
Get on the lino if you can (repeat to end)
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Keshcology London, UK
Freewheeling leftie home of Bleak House, Nice Scream, Keshco, Vile Brain Samples, Andrew Walton, Simon Waldram etc. Library
music, folk pop, synths, poetry; mostly Creative Commons licensed. Free or pay-what-you-can. Always excited to hear when our pieces are used in your productions, so do let us know.
Keshco: Friends who play psychedelia, synthpop, folk, cut-ups, jingles. Homemade since 1994!
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