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Get Out And Vote

by Keshco

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1.
Roll up, roll up, roll up! Anybody got a roll up? It is my dubious honour, as the executive officer of these here parts, to introduce the candidates for the vacant seat on the council of Kesh County. Ladies and women: in the beige corner, Peregrine Bullingdon-Scythe of the Nasty Party. In the puce corner, Jack Dockleaf of the Workers' Alliance. In the mauve corner, Jeremy Soundbite of the Centre-Left Letdown. In the tartan corner, Mrs Tenacious Buzzard of the Scot-Free Party. In the grass-green corner, Ms Aorta Smokeone of the Earth Alliance. Now the contest will be decided by two falls, two submissions or a knock-out. May the deepest pocket win, and ideally have to resign double-quick so we can do it all over again. I hereby declare the contest open. Cue six weeks of interminable waffle. I thank you! Now - let's have a ding-dong.
2.
How much tax do you pay in the pound? Nothing, boy, nothing What will you say when the people find out? Shut it, boy shut it It's a con! - you take the profits and you sneak them around And it's wrong - Send them to the Caymans or the Swiss account Doggone! - You write it off, seal it up, swindle it down This is how it's done How many friends do you have at the top? Network, boy, network How many boards can you sit on and scoff? Notwork, boy, notwork It's a con! - you mess up something that the public should own And it's wrong! - You get a title and the pay-off's loads Doggone! - You're just a cushy lickyspittle toad This is how it's done How are those shite-hawks staying in jobs? Contacts, boy, contacts Lovely golden handshake if they have to run off Contracts, boy, contracts You're hired! - you gotta sell to stay ahead of the game You're fired! - can't feel no empathy, can't feel no shame You're retired! - the perks and benefits that you retain This is how it's done Don't peek behind the curtain - don't knock upon the door You don't want to see that view - sit still now, obey the law Don't organise a sit-in - don't march don't fret don't carp You don't want to see the strings - leave off boy, stop having a laugh Leave off boy, stop having a laugh Leave off boy, stop having a laugh You're whaat?? Shit shuffle shoes (shoe shining shite)
3.
Terrible choices perpetuate need Act on conscience Lend for free
4.
Riding on the battlebus Silly bleeders - awful leaders Spin the wheel until it locks Stay dead centre, cull dissenters Back it up, back it up, back it up Ease it off, ease it off, ease it off Simmer down, simmer down, simmer down Ride it out, ride it out, ride it out Slide and spin and scuff it up Queer quote squabble, John Blunt trouble Scour the bin and rake the muck Mic leak stumble, tired slog mumble Sink the pinkos, down the pound Beat a retreat, whitewash defeat Overtake and overhaul Change what's working, break and cave in Speed it up, speed it up, speed it up Slow it down, slow it down, slow it down Shut it off, shut it off, shut it off Ride it out, ride it out, ride it out Scramble damage poor control We'll do more with less than before Manifesto sleeperhold Costings slated, obfuscated Sell out any principle Didn't rule in, didn't rule out Talk the talk then dodge the fall Protest muffle - top deck shuffle Talk but say nothing at all Deflect every battleball Anodyne the prattlebus Campaign might be good as lost Wheel her in and fill her up And off we go
5.
The Count 03:05
6.
If you've no room to cook your food, try this groove - the kitchen shuffle. Don't get in a pickle if your kitchen's only ickle - do the kitchen shuffle. If you need to place a booking for some time to do your cooking - do the kitchen shuffle. If the reach-round to your grill leaves you ill - do the kitchen shuffle. The kitchen shuffle is hard to beat Swivel your hips, shuffle your feet Reach down to the fridge, up to the shelf Have a care now, it's good for your health If there's no room to swing a cat in your dingy terraced flat - do the kitchen shuffle. When you're looking for a plate but can't get round your housemate - do the kitchen shuffle. No purchase to be had on a wipe-clean mat - do the kitchen shuffle. If your steamer's boiling dry or you're poked in the eye - do the kitchen shuffle. Now take it. Come on without, come on within We can't do nothing in our tiny kitchen If you're irate cos your kitchen's in a state - do the kitchen shuffle If you're in a stew cos your fridge is in the loo - do the kitchen shuffle. If you need Inspector Gadget's hands to reach your pots and pans - shuffle. If the tool the chef demands is knocked from your hands - ooff! - kerfuffle. The kitchen shuffle is hard to beat Swivel your hips, shuffle your feet Reach down to the fridge, up to the shelf Have a care now, it's good for your health Get on the funky lino if you can. Get on the lino if you can (repeat to end)

about

On General Election day in the UK, here's a little gift to help you slice through the spin and swerve. For anyone with a socialism of the heart.

This release is available for FREE (by entering your email), or name your price - we promise not to send spam.

credits

released May 7, 2015

Written and played by Andy Brain, Luke Sample and Bob Follen
Guest keyboard by Alex Sample
Kitchen Shuffle lyrics mostly by Drew Walton

Front cover portrait: Tony Benn, by Bob Follen (for Bob Art Models)

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Keshcology London, UK

Freewheeling leftie home of Bleak House, Nice Scream, Keshco, Vile Brain Samples, Andrew Walton, Simon Waldram etc. Library music, folk pop, synths, poetry; mostly Creative Commons licensed. Free or pay-what-you-can. Always excited to hear when our pieces are used in your productions, so do let us know.

Keshco: Friends who play psychedelia, synthpop, folk, cut-ups, jingles. Homemade since 1994!
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